help me adjust to this madness
by clarembees
Summary: in the aftermath of the most devastating betrayal, she's there desperate to pick up his pieces and to prove she's not going anywhere - directly post raw 6/2/14 [established dean/emma]


_a/n: this is a companion piece to the amazing ramenreignss' neth bellins one shot "hope it was worth it" about the aftermath of his betrayal. she mentioned emma going to nikki and seth's hotel room to get the rest of her stuff, so i ran with that._

* * *

**~*~help me adjust to this madness~*~**

_**why am i so emotional/no it's not a good look, gain some self control/and deep down i know it never works/but can you lay with me so it doesn't hurt**_

"_**stay with me" - by sam smith**_

* * *

Emma _literally_ felt like she couldn't breathe. Her body was shaking, no more like _trembling_, like she was a princess in a fairytale lost in the dense forest in the dead of night, waiting for the wicked witch to capture her. Her head was spinning and her heart was somehow both lodged in her throat _and_ breaking into a thousand pieces, each of which were stabbing at her skin and digging in deeper and deeper.

Her vision blurred as she blinked, struggling to keep the tears that were flooding her eyes at bay.

She looked to her left, thinking [hoping] Nikki might still be standing next to her, but the brunette was gone.

She _wanted _to look away from the scene in the ring; Roman and Dean's battered bodies laying crumpled in a heap at the feet of Triple H, Randy Orton and... No, _not _Batista he had quit at the start of RAW, but **Seth Rollins **instead, but the blonde found herself unable to look away. It was almost as if her brain was telling her if she kept staring it would all turn out to be some horrible dream, a mirage as if she were wandering the desert, desperate for water and her mind was playing tricks.

Except she knew it wasn't a dream or a mirage. There was no waking up from this nightmare. This nightmare that was now her life.

She blinked repeatedly, swiping at her eyes, desperate to stem the tears as she heard the low, prideful rumble of Triple H, "I _always_ win..." and with each pat of his hefty hand on Seth's shoulder, she could feel her throat tighten like a vice, as if Kane had her in his grasp ready to perform his patented choke slam.

She wanted to run, to sprint from the gorilla and not look back, but she was frozen. Frozen in heartbreak, frozen in confusion, frozen in utter pain.

She didn't think it could get _worse_, but Seth – without looking back – slipped under the ropes and with Triple H and Randy flanking his sides, left the ring. A strangled sob escaped her, but somehow she was able to hold her body up instead of sinking to the floor on her legs that had turned to jelly.

* * *

"I was hoping," Emma felt her entire body turn to ice at the sound of _that_ voice from behind her. "We would at least see the lovely Nikki Bella as well."

Whirling around, she saw the hulking frame of Triple H, infamous sledge hammer in hand, still with his arm slung around Seth's shoulders and Randy who was looking so damn proud with that sickening smirk on his face, looking every bit the predator he claimed he was. Her small frame shook with rage she had never felt before, not even in the ring, and before she could stop herself, she was lunging for whichever man she could reach for first, not caring whose eyes she was going to claw out.

Easily, Randy caught her, his mocking chuckle making her feel bile rise in her throat. "Feisty." He taunted, eyes gleaming sadistically.

With all the force she had, the small Australian pushed him away, disgust replacing her normally bubbly expression. She stepped back, tilting her head slightly, so she could look into the once familiar depths of Seth's dark eyes, hoping there was a shred of the man she once called a friend, the man Dean and Roman once called a brother, but she found nothing. Just guilt. But no anguish, no remorse, not any trace of what she wanted [needed] to see.

"How could you?" It was pitiful and she knew it. It was a little girl's question, a little girl who was learning first hand just how cruel the world could be.

* * *

Emma swallowed, thickly, preparing herself for the sight of Dean and Roman's battered and bruised bodies that would certainly greet her when she walked into the trainer's room. As she approached the door, she flinched when she heard Dean roar, "Get the fuck out of here, Doc! Unless you want to get hit with this table with all your medical shit on it, as I throw it against the wall, you'll get the fuck out! NOW!"

Doctor Aman did not need to be told twice. As he pushed his way out of the room, he collided with her and they both nearly fell to the floor, but she grasped his arms, keeping them both upright.

"You're not going in there are you?" The doctor questioned, his tone almost fearful.

"I'll be fine." Emma's tone was resolute. She knew Dean would never put his hands on her, no matter how intense his rage burned.

And honestly her only choice was to be with him. She couldn't abandon him. Not now. Not after what she just witnessed in the ring.

Walking into the room, her heart was breaking all over again. The thundering sound of the medical tray and its instruments hitting the wall didn't register with her. All she saw was the utter devastation in Roman's grey eyes. If she wasn't mistaken, not that she would say so out loud, but she could see the shimmering of tears. Without preamble, she wrapped her arms around the large Samoan's impressive frame, burying her face against the stern tendons of his neck, as she squeezed as tightly as she could.

"How could he fucking do this?! After everything we've been through?! The beatings those fuckers gave us! Fucking hell, the beatings they gave _him!_" Dean raged, grasping the strands of his hair before he started pounding the walls with his fists and kicking anything and everything in his path.

Emma let go of Roman and lunged at the man she knew everyone had always assumed would be the one to turn on his brothers, leading to the decimation of one of the most dominate factions the company had ever seen, wrapping her arms around his sturdy torso and holding him tightly.

She wasn't surprised as he wrenched away from her, shoving her smaller frame harshly, but that didn't stop her from wrapping her arms around him again.

She needed him to know that she wasn't going anywhere, that he wasn't going to wake up one morning and find that everything between them was a lie.

His shoulders began to shake, making her clutch at him tighter, her fingers digging into the familiar fabric of his hoodie, feeling the weight of the tactical vest underneath.

"Your phone's been ringing off the hook." Summer Rae suddenly appeared in the doorway of the trainer's room, as she tossed the sparkling device at Emma. As soon as the leggy blonde appeared she was gone. Something Emma was silently thankful for. No one else needed to see Dean and Roman like this.

Glancing at the number blinking across the screen, she recognized it as Nikki's. She bit her lip, twisting the flesh between her teeth so hard, she thought she might draw blood. She read the text from the brunette, and once again, her heart was breaking. She had just left the hotel room she shared with Seth, only grabbing whatever she could get her hands on and leaving everything else behind.

"Go." Dean said gruffly, pushing out of her embrace. "I don't need you to fucking hold my hand or whatever. I'm not a little kid."

"I got it, doll." Roman's deep voice, sounding utterly exhausted and tinged with hurt, reached her ears.

* * *

Walking through the familiar hallway of the hotel with its eggshell walls, Emma remembered yesterday when she and Nikki guided a bruised and beaten Dean and Seth to their rooms. Seth never looked happier; his deep eyes brimming with pride and he shared a secret glance with her, one that made her heart leap in her chest because she knew – even though he didn't have the ring with him now – he was going to propose to Nikki that night. He was going to propose and she was going to tease Dean about it once they got back to their room, giggling and poking at the dimple in his cheek and taunting him about how she wasn't going to wait forever.

She remembered him laughing in that low, throaty way of his – the one that made heat bloom in the pit of her stomach – as he brushed hair from her eyes, tender in that special way he only was with her, and said, "Blondie, I ain't the marrying kind."

"Not yet." She murmured confidently before pulling him into a searing kiss.

Tonight, there wasn't going to be any teasing. Or talking about marriage. There wouldn't be any kissing either. Or tenderness.

Just the utter, harsh sting of reality that their lives were never going to be what they were twenty four hours ago.

As she was about to slide the key card through, the door opened, revealing a disheveled Seth with a crushed expression on his face. One that should've made her feel every ounce of pain and agony that he felt, but she felt nothing. He brought this on himself. He chose The Authority over his brothers. And he deserved the pain that came with it.

Stiffening her shoulders, she jutted out her chin defiantly and as she was about to move past him, in a heartbreaking attempt at humor he asked, "You're not going to try and poke my eyes out first?"

"I'm just here for the rest of Nikki's things." There was an edge to her tone, normally light and bright, and a steely resolve to her usually soft and happy features.

* * *

The constant ticking of the clock was the blonde Australian's only companion until the door to the hotel room she was sharing with Dean, _finally_ burst open. She had given Nikki her things back and though she wanted to stay with her friend, to comfort the brunette whose world had been reduced to rubble, she had to get back to the hotel room. She couldn't live with herself if Dean showed up and she wasn't there.

She leapt from the bed and rushed at him, full speed, arms wrapping around his neck and legs binding around his waist, her ankles hooking together, so he couldn't push her away.

Roughly, he grabbed her face in his calloused hands, and attacked her mouth with his own. His fingers sank into her hair, clutching tightly at the thick blonde strands, pulling at them to bring her mouth closer to his.

He broke apart, tearing his mouth from hers, when oxygen became too much of a necessity, and before she could blink, she was suddenly on thrown on the bed, bouncing slightly before he pounced on her. His strong frame was suffocating her, his weight pressing her further and further into the mattress as he kissed her neck with bruising intent before practically ripping her shirt away, desperation clear in every one of his frenzied movements.

"Dean," She gasped, her hips bucking against his as he roughly cupped her through her jeans.

Her vision swam as he yanked her jeans and panties down in one fell swoop and she clutched tightly at his broad shoulders, before loosening her grip and as she started to rub soothing circles on his bruised skin, he had her hands in his grasp, so tight she could feel her circulation cutting off.

"None of that lovey dovey shit, all right?" He growled, azure eyes glowering. "If you don't want to fuck, I'll find somebody who will."

Emma knew he didn't mean that. She knew he was angry and hurt, utterly devastated was more accurate, by Seth's betrayal, and he wasn't going to let her see just how much it was affecting him, he didn't want to seem weak, to give her a glimpse into his past, to let her see the little boy who had faced abandonment before and never let anyone in for fear that they would leave. He didn't trust easy, or at all, really. But he trusted Seth. Not just in the ring, but out of the ring. The two-toned Iowan knew things about the man on top of her that not even she would most likely ever know.

And he betrayed him. He betrayed him and their other brother. Who just like him wasn't one to give his trust easily. Who valued family and honor above anything else.

"I'm not going anywhere." She stared deeply into his raging eyes, willing with all her might for him to believe her.

"Like I haven't heard _that_ a million fucking times."

"You haven't heard it from _me_. Not until right now. And I'm not everyone else. I'm me, and I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to be right here," She reached for his hand, clutching it tightly with her smaller, slender fingers. "Even after everything else is gone; the crowds, the thrill, the wins, the losses, the championships, I'll still be here. You should know," Her lips, somehow, bloomed into a grin. "By now, you can't get rid of me that easily."

"You don't have to say anything," She grunted, shifting underneath him until she could sit up and properly wrap her arms around him, bringing her mouth to his ear, briefly tugging on the earring she liked so much. "But you need to know that I'm not going anywhere. That there isn't going to be any betrayal, that I'm not going to abandon you. I promise."

"Don't," His teeth were grit, jaw ticking dangerously. "Fucking say that. You can't keep that promise, and you know that, deep down in that stupidly wide open heart of yours, you know that. I could fuck up so royally that you'll bolt the first chance you get. So don't fucking say you promise, Dashwood."

"I promise. I promise. I promise. I promise. I promise. I promise. I prom..." As her voice rose with each repeat of those two words, Dean silenced her by aggressively taking hold of her mouth, diving his tongue inside and roughly gnashing his teeth against hers.

"Stop with that 'i promise' shit, all right? Don't fucking promise, just... Fuck," He cursed, fingers dragging through his hair harshly. "Stay." His voice was low as he looked at her through the fringe of his hair, almost seeming ashamed for wanting her to stay.

No other words were spoken between them. All Emma did was wrap her arms around Dean as he buried his face against the smooth slope of her neck, slipping his leg in between hers and hoisting her other around his waist. She idly stroked his hair until she heard the familiar sound of his even breathing, slowly lulling her to sleep.

Tomorrow he would have to deal with the fallout of Seth's betrayal, but she was going to make sure he would be doing it with her right by his side.


End file.
